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3:36Each breath so entirely filled with nostalgia,
each inhale filling my lungs with memories of summer months.
1:55Your lips used to meet my neck
and you would tell me stories of the sea
you told me of nights your friends broke bottles on the shore
and I counted the cigarettes you'd put out on the sand
for so long you had worn your heart as close to your sleeve as I
this habit for you was not one so easily escaped
you spoke your altered words and I think perhaps you even considered yourself honest
you lead me with your falsehood and I took faith in your half truths
I made promises to follow you into the dark, into the night
and there in that curtain of the night you told me your heart was no longer my home
We cannot escape the world that others createFor too long now we have been trapped by society. We feel the need to rebel against restrictions set in place. I lie in wait by the corner, sitting on the sidewalk with my legs spread out in front of me. Cigarette in hand, I wonder what my mother would think of me now. My phone violently buzzes through the material of my coat pocket against my bare torso. A blocked number again. Through my limbs I feel my veins pulsate as I recall how I had scaled the side fence earlier that night, how silently I had crept past my parents who kept to the living room. Soon enough I will be eighteen, although, to them this does not matter. To them I must remain to the confines of my room, dressing and acting ‘appropriately’.
By the corner of Gore and Johnston we are now, not too far from the brewery we would explore with such child-like curiosity. I guess there was a greater sense of fun in what we did then, climbing fences for the sake of it and spraying meaningless words on the facades of t
12:10I dream of you still,
of what you were,
of what we were
when we would take each other's picture.
I dream of you,
encapsulated in film grain,
the closest I can be to you now
those images of us climbing fences,
entering empty buildings.
Those bluestone walls,
once so prim, now covered by vines,
just as you crept over me,
marking my skin.
We used to sit up past your bed time,
sharing our first kisses,
my legs would dangle over the skatepark ramps,
and you would pull away, exclaiming 'I'm warm now'.
But never have I met a person so cold.
8:12An obsession of an alternate reality
caused by uncontrolled wanting
of boys who take too many drugs
and look through rose coloured glasses
at the realities of each girl they chose to inflict hurt
I suppose it wasn't too long ago now
that I found myself on the windowsill
hiding from the thickening rain
I cried to you, I hoped for you
but your words were cruel, and you, you were empty
I was sitting on a windowsill
wishing for those initial flirtatious words
wishing for days when we sat in the summer sun,
sharing cigarette kisses and meaningless compliments
I was sitting on a windowsill,
and you tore my heart in two
Now I share your rose glass gaze
hoping for your falsities, your falsehood,
I wish for the kisses and each tree we sat under
our arms wrapped so tight, fearing truths penetration.
7:03A soul sucker, true to form
the kind that hides in midnight shadows,
cigarette in hand
a coat falls from her shoulders
in a way which no arms could
and you are left to wonder,
was it her, over I?
and you are left to wonder,
what streets she'll be wandering tonight
you see, claws cut like daggers
in this dark utopian state of mind
A room filled with a hundred faces,
the ones which pout their lips
and tell you, 'you are gorgeous'
your twilight body vibrates
as strange hands are laid across it
you see, in your mind you know
that it was I, over her
but this is one piece of information
never to be made known
A barefooted girl who runs the streets,
her mind not quite aware of what is yet to come.
7:17such an incredulous manner
the way in which you allow
your body to move by mine
disregarding the credit owed
encased by heat, charged by chemicals
ridden with nostalgia of innocence, naivety
bluestone pathways lead my way
red lights flicker, cigarette packs occupied by drugs
and as once again i feel my skin
touched by the hands of unwanted men
i dream of others, those almost as detached as i
7:56There were times when I walked those streets with such dignity, such pride in who I was, such pride in whose eyes I fell. But the sun reveals itself less often these days, it no longer shows me those starry shadows. I find myself downing all the kinds of medication that get you drunk too fast. I find myself with my head in the toilet bowl, boys with tattoos and stretched ears offering me tea. But most often, I find myself beds. My own bed, beds of friends, beds of boys I once considered 'lovers', boys I could consider 'lovers' once more. I could wrap myself in all the blankets I could find, but still, I do not find the warmth I am searching for. For days at a time I stare at my phone, I wait by my computer screen. I wait for that false interest boys seem to find with me. And these boys watch me down my coffee, watch me inhale each cigarette until I reach my last, they watch the way I am always looking over their shoulder, wondering whats beyond.
And these boys pass me my pills, dropped
PetalsI pull off a petal
"He loves me."
His smile is the galaxy I live and breathe in.
I pull off a petal.
And when he can't make time for me, that's okay.
He makes up for it in his kisses.
I pull off a petal.
The other girls don't matter
Because he comes home to me.
It hurts a little but I deal with it
Because he is the sun and the stars.
I pull off a petal.
He may ignore me sometimes
But deep down I know he cares.
I pull off a petal.
I'm hurting, but I need him.
He's the only one in my head.
He's the air in my lungs.
I pull off a petal.
"He loves me not."
speechlessI swear, I don't think I've ever
met a person quite like you before.
You stir up an inconceivable amount of feelings
inside of me, and it seems that I can never
find the right words to say whenever I'm around you.
historically inaccurate documents-i-
you were perfect.
i could not look directly
at your flare, your lace,
i learned to love and blush
in that moment.
there are eight planets
and each one orbits
i am the first person to name
this cluster of stars
for the handful of freckles
on your arm
that it mirrors.
and i am also
you are the gleaming envy
of every viewer. you stand
bathed in worship-worthy
nervous ticks that only i
not a single other being
in our plane
is made of matter.
you alone are real
and we are the shatters
of the echoes
your breathing makes.
cusped quasars sync
portals swarming out of
sinusoidal orders. ornate
soils storing digitized loyalties
of lovers purring potently.
potential switched kinetic
all times are ours
and all dimensions follow
all rhymes involve
and all tensions swallow
we're all right
in all beds
with all words
like the length
of our lives,
we are withou
highschool heartsnew faces, old faces
faces we think we see
faces we wish we would never see again
laughs out loud
proclamation of feelings
sitting at the red table
coffee in hand
smiling so faintly
you joke so inappropriately
but not at that
how oblivious love is
how oblivious our lives are now
and pretty brown eyes
that glint in your eye when i blabber on
your pretty lips
i promised i'd stay on my studies
but i'd rather be studying chemistry
One nightOne night, I can be with you.
I don't have to look at the moon
anymore; hoping that you will be
looking too. The stars dance
around the moon like all those
other girls do, because they want
to be with you.
Envy begins to the poison that
sets into my veins; how any of
those girls could make you feel
like you've found the one but I'm
just going to be that girl that
sits on the side wishing that
you could love me.
You won't even know anything about
me but, I know so much about you,
my dear. The way that you smile the
definition of happiness, to the way
your voice plays a symphony that is
I begin to fall in love with you
all over again, like I did before.
Nothing could make me feel so safe
and warm in a cocoon except for you;
looking at me with those blue eyes
that are brighter then the ocean
itself making it jealous of you.
Our UniverseHere we are in our mundane universe.
We stand underneath the night sky
And gaze up at the stars.
We are two small specks of dust
Attached to each other by tangled fingers.
My toes wiggle deeper into the sand
As I watch you splash around in the warm water.
Sometimes it's hard to believe there's a universe out there.
But we'll see it someday.
Together, hand in hand,
We will explore this huge galaxy.
We will make our own discoveries.
We will search for adventure
All the while we hold tightly to each other.
Because I see the universe in your eyes and your heart.
Because no matter how far we go
We'll still be two little dots
Lying on that beach
For you If the stars don't shine tonight
Will you still love me?
If our hearts stopped beating
Would you forgive me?
If the earth stopped spinning
Would you still hate me
Yes I know darling you still hate me, your hate for me burns like a raging inferno.
I understand no matter what I will always love you.
The truth is you could take everything I love, strip me down from everything, break me, even slit my throat and I would still love you.
You raised me from the hell I was drowning in, the black abyss I was trapped in for so long.
To this day I don't know why you would do that just to leave me!
I did everything you asked.
I stood up for you.
I fought for you
I would have even taken a bullet for you...
but still your pierced that knife through my back grinning the entire way
I would have done anything for you
Even if you died I would have died with you
Even if that meant taking my own life and losing my wings
Your StarlightYour Starlight:
Climbing up the steep slope
Completely enveloped in summer
Night's warm embrace
My goal silhouetted against the moon
The Withered old tree stood
Covered in the scars of forgotten promises
Placing a hand on the old bark
I remove a pocketknife into my hand
Staring at the blank spot
I recall memories from my life,
My first steps, my first Dance
My first Love, My first broken heart.
The tears come before I can stop them
Even now the scars still hurt
Clenching my fist I closes my eyes
Trying to contain the pain
Suddenly I feel a pair of arms
Wrap around my shoulders
Opening an eye I saw
Arms made of starlight
Turning 'round I saw him
My star, the only one who cared
I hadn't spoken to him since I was young
But that didn't matter to him
He smiled and hugged me again,
"Do not worry." He whispered into my ear
"Though you've grown, I'll still be here."
He held onto my shoulder and smiled at me
I said with more tears than ever
"How can you still care? I almost forgot you were ther
I'll Know It's You When...Daddy told me that I’ll know
I found you when your fingers
can conduct an orchestra
in my heart and your lips will
taste like ocean water and autumn leaves,
he said I won’t bite my tongue anymore
and the ashes under my skin will be
replaced with things like New York snow
and even glitter. He said when I can
taste my laugh as it ripples out my throat,
when my socks are filled with love letters
and little scented candles, that’s when
I’ll know I found you. He said to picture
a circular object in the sky and if I look at it
and it becomes the sun instead of the moon
then, yeah, I’ve found you.
12:18And I think that 4am knows all my secrets,
I think it knows how you once held my waist as you told me secrets of your own,
I think that it knows that when I was lonely I would drink wine and dance under pine trees.
By Friday you smelt like Summer again,
you smelt of the salt kissed air on the nights our feet would trail along train tracks.
You kissed me again like that day in March,
you kissed me as you did when it was nothing but lust, nothing but star-like shadows.
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